“Maybe I’m Too Grown for This?” – Rereading Twilight (Chapters 7–11)

When I started this Twilight reread, I was ready for misty forests, teenage angst, and a touch of sparkly nostalgia.

And then I hit Chapters 7 through 11… and realized even at 50+, there are some obsessions I just can’t justify anymore.

Let’s break it down.

Chapter 7: Research Mode Activated

After Jacob’s beachside storytelling session, Bella becomes a woman on a mission. She dives deep into late-night Googling (2005-style) about “cold ones” and vampire legends.

Grown-woman me admires the research hustle.
Grown-woman me is also deeply concerned that she immediately concludes, “He’s probably a vampire… and I’m okay with that.”

This is not critical thinking. This is YA fantasy brain chemistry, and I can’t even be mad about it. I was there once too.

Chapter 8: Acceptance Without Hesitation

Bella doesn’t just accept that Edward might be a vampire — she embraces it.
No real fear, no weighing the risks. Just straight into, “he’s dangerous but I love him anyway.”

At 34, this felt intoxicating.
At 50+, it feels exhausting. Love doesn’t have to be a death wish to be exciting.

Honestly, the way Bella leaps headfirst into danger without a flicker of self-preservation? It hit different this time. And not in a good way.

Chapter 9: “Say It. Out Loud.”

The iconic woods scene happens here.

Edward drags Bella into the forest and forces her to say the word: vampire.
And then instead of running away screaming (you know, a healthy response), Bella doubles down on her heart-eyes and internal monologues about how beautiful and good he is.

Meanwhile, Edward is literally talking about how hard it is not to kill her.

At 50+, all I could think was: “Girl, I need you to love yourself more than this man with bloodlust issues.”

Chapter 10: Emotional Whiplash

Edward tries to act all stoic and protective.
Bella? She’s fully gone.

We get more mixed signals, warnings about danger, and a truly wild moment where Edward shows off how fast he can run through the forest with Bella clinging to him like a backpack.

The speed, the strength, the intensity—it’s meant to dazzle.
And it does… but it also feels like a giant metaphor for how out of control Bella’s life is getting.

Spoiler: it only gets worse.

Chapter 11: Obsession Complete

This is where I tapped out.

Bella’s entire identity has shrunk down to Edward.
Her world? Him.
Her thoughts? Him.
Her dreams, her plans, her safety? Secondary at best.

At 34, I found it swoony.
At 50+, it felt like a cautionary tale.

By Chapter 11, Bella has fully lost herself—and I realized I just didn’t have the energy to watch her spiral even deeper.

Final Thoughts (For Now)

Rereading Twilight was supposed to be a cozy, nostalgic project. And for a while, it was.
But revisiting Bella’s total loss of self made me realize how far I’ve come. I now see how much more I expect from love stories.

Sometimes you have to leave a fantasy where it belongs: in the past.

Maybe one day I’ll pick it up again.
For now? I’m choosing peace, tea, and fully-formed main characters. ✨

Did you push through Bella’s obsession when you reread Twilight? Or, like me, did you find yourself stepping away? Let’s talk about it in the comments.

Tea, Books, and Life